Being a good, biblical husband is HARD. Something we want to do here at Beating50Percent is be a community that helps each other live out scripture. It can be easy to say, “just memorize some scripture, that’ll help”. It’s hard to live out what we read. Information is useless without application. Here are 12 verses that helped me through the season of engagement and our first year of marriage. The Bible has a funny way of being both old, and relevant. There is no book on planet earth like it. Let’s read, digest, interpret with community, and live out this library of books called the Bible. If you have a friend that is engaged or getting married this summer share these verses with them!
12 Verses Every Groom Should Memorize Before Their Wedding Day.
1.“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:19
For when you are frustrated with them — The roles of the husband are different than that of the wife. Different, yet equal. It can become frustrating when things don’t go a certain way, and even more frustrating when you don’t understand why. Being a leader demands heroic levels of self-control. Our wives need our love, as much as we need their respect. Love them well, with self control, in times of frustration, and do not be harsh with them. A brisk reminder for us husbands, no getting around this one!
2. “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water and sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17: 7-8
For when your confidence is shaken — Trust is the sign of a healthy relationship. It’s hard to trust in the Lord when your relationship with Him is lacking. Dive into the scriptures and seek Him out. When we do that, we find confidence and trust that surpasses our circumstances. When our trust is in the Lord, we will be fruitful. Being fruitful is bearing results of a favorable outcome. However, we must remember that what the Lord deems as fruitful, might differ from what the world says is fruitful. This is one of my favorite verses, so many hidden metaphors and realities that can apply to almost every scenario. This verse reminds me to chase after what God deems honorable, not man.
3. “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:25
For when you need to re-order priorities — Once you’re married, it’s you and your wife. You are a NEW family. The responsibilities affiliated with your old friends and family are no longer THE priority. Although they still remain a priority in your life, they are no longer THEE priority. If you’re wife is having a horrible day, but your friend also needs you…. Your wife is your priority. Helping your friend is a GOOD thing, but sometimes we want to validate using resources on good things, and forget about the best thing. That best thing, that priority thing, is your marriage. From the moment you say, “I do,” you are a new family. Your new family needs a purpose and a mission that has the propensity to inspire and impact how people see the world. Figure out what that mission and purpose might be BEFORE you get married. And remember, the health of your marriage ALWAYS come first, always…
4. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1Peter 3:7
For when you forget responsibility— We are to honor our wives, “as the weaker vessel.” Erase what the world has taught you about the word weak. The word weakness here takes immense strength for wives to live out. Peter is referring to the former verses (1Peter:1-6) about how a wife is to carry herself. I think we can all appreciate how hard that is to do, it takes immense strength. All throughout scripture we hear Jesus saying things like, “the first will be last”, and “to these (kids) belong the kingdom of heaven”, “lose your life to find it”. All of these statements seem backwards by American standards… but they are all for our good. God wants to replace what we deem good; with what He deems best. DO NOT look at your wife as weak, but respect the strength it takes to adhere to this scripture. Furthermore, your wife is an heir with you, meaning of equal inheritance. Peter is drilling home how the the family government is to operate in the kingdom of Jesus. So remember, we are in a position of authority and responsibility, to appreciate and love our wives.
5. “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1Corinthians 7:5
For when you fight about sex — Sex works best when both parties are on board. There may be times when (acting out of knowledge and understanding (1Peter3:7) it is healthy to refrain for sex for an allotted amount of time. However, sex is a vital asset in marriage, and time without it will be a hot spot for temptation. Satan will use this time to attack in every way he can. Sex not only feels good; it accomplishes something beyond the moment. It was designed to create intimacy and oneness in your marriage. However, if you need to refrain for a time, both you and your wife need to agree on it and pencil in a deadline for when the refraining will cease. Unfortunately, the way that culture has taught us to handle the physical part of our dating relationships, coupled with what the church tells us about sex, has made communicating about this topic very difficult. Although it might be awkward at times, be honest and maintain consistent communication regarding this aspect of your relationship. If you’re like us (waiting for marriage), you will have a lot to learn and discuss!
6. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18
For when things have changed — Marriage is re-marrying a different version of the same person every year. Or put another way, “marriage is falling in love many times with the same person”. Growing isn’t always easy, in seasons of intense growth where you might not recognize life as it is, remember who you married, and love who they are becoming. You have probably changed just as much as they have.
7. “ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Mathtew 6:21
For when you might be lost – This is one of my favorite verses. Throughout my life I have often turned to it in order to understand where I am at as a person trying to follow Christ. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. This makes me ask myself, “well, what is my treasure? Because when I figure that out, then I know where my heart is.” Treasure, whatever it is, is something we love, something we might spend money on, or obsess over… An even greater key as to what it is, is where we spend our time. So whenever I have felt a little un-fulfilled, I turn to this verse to re-evaluate what my treasure might currently be, and where my heart is at. It hasn’t always been fun, because changing is hard, but it’s been a great verse in my life and changing has always been worth it!
8. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
For when you think it’s no big deal — The Bible is full of warnings and wisdom against adultery. It also has clear lines on what is considered adultery. We must not forget that sin festers. What seems innocent today, becomes a big problem tomorrow. As men we must get control of our own minds. The first look can be innocent, but the second look is a choice. Let your eyes be for one woman, your wife.
9. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
For when you forget you are the leader — Men! You are all leaders in your own right. We are to be biblically literate, know the scriptures, and be able to teach our wives. We are to be men that are worth following. We should be leading our home, and ABLE to accurately teach the scriptures. I don’t think God’s idea for family government was whenever your wife had a question, you told her to go ask another man (pastor), and have them teach her. Wow, I know for me that can be convicting. I often feel in-adequate in my understanding of the scriptures, and sometimes Audrey asks me questions that I don’t know the answer to. But instead of sending her somewhere else to find the answer, her questions prompted me to learn, grow, discover, and seek wise council. The scriptures clearly explain an order of government that when properly followed, creates a marriage full of purpose and joy. This means we need to stay “ahead” in pursuing Christ, and in doing so we will be building a church, “without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.” We have become “one flesh” with our wife, so loving her, is the same as loving yourself. Marriage is an exercise of selflessness, to say the least, put them before you, and joy will follow. (opposite of what the world preaches)
10. “He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8
For when you don’t know where to re-start… — Sometime we feel beat down by our unmet expectations. The lies creep in, telling us that we are not good enough, or tempting us to give up. When you feel confused or lack clarity on the next step, you will be reminded of this scripture. Micah reminds us to begin with our character. Who we are is seen by what we produce (bear). To bear good fruit, you need to plant your character, your life, and your soul in the stream of life (Jesus). Begin again with your character, work on who you are as a person living for the kingdom, and a life brimming with joy will follow.
11. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9
For when it’s really, really, hard — There might come a time where keeping your word, seems trivial given the circumstances. “Separation” is obviously the potential end result, or “way out”, due to many difficult problems that have gone ignored. In a world where, “live for yourself,” and, “be happy,” is the highest priority. Values that contradict those ideals are becoming obsolete. Let’s be men of a community that is re-building the honor once associated with keeping your word, and building a strong marriage. As Christians we have a duty, to live a life resembling Christ, that is the goal. Redemption is Christ like, selflessness for the sake of fixing is Christ like. If something is on its way downhill, building towards separation, there is time to stop it. Be a man strong enough to lead the charge! Marriage should never reach a point where we feel the need to abandon the foundations of our faith. God had joined you together. If He remains your glue, nothing can separate you.
12. “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
For when you face trials – This verse has been a mantra in our marriage. It shows us a structure to live by and paints a beautiful picture of accountability within marriage. There are three strands in marriage, Christ being the head, then the husband, then the wife. All equal in accomplishing a task, but all uniquely different. This verse has shed a lot of light as we read the scriptures ideal plan for marriage
What verses have helped you to be a better than average husband? Share with us below! And don’t forget to pass this post along to your engaged friends!
This is the husband edition. My wife wrote a post about 15 verses every BRIDE should memorize >>here<< Share with your wife!