There’s never a convenient time to start investing money. Have you ever looked at an investment graph? It’s impressive. It shows if you start now and invest consistently, over time you will yield an incredible return. It’s no different with emotional investments in marriage. Often we wait for a birthday, anniversary, or holiday to make a big splash with our spouse. When in fact, the greatest emotional investments can take place NOW in our everyday routines!
Two questions for you to consider…
1. Do you have a few short windows of time throughout your everyday?
2. Is the emotional connectedness, health, and trust in your marriage worth a few everyday investments?
We assume your answers were “YES.” But then why do so many spouses feel like their emotional “love bank” is empty? Have there been too many withdrawals? Not enough investments?
We believe you’re reading this because you have a heart to make everyday investments. A couple years ago we wrote about ways to say “I love you” once a week. Now we are bringing it down to the everyday level! The everyday list below doesn’t take a ton of money, thought, or time. But as you add now + everyday investments + time, you will begin to see a deeper emotional connectedness and joy in your marriage.
These are NOT rocket science! And if they feel awkward or forced, then maybe your emotional “love banks” are a bit low. So let’s get goin’ and build up those banks!
Everyday Investments that take less than 30 seconds!
1. Pray a commissioning or blessing over your spouse as they leave the house (Jeremiah 29:11-12, Ephesians 3:18-20, Eph 6:10-18).
2. Point out new shoes, shirt, pants, lip gloss, or jacket and tell your spouse they look great.
3. Reach out when he/she doesn’t expect, hold your spouse’s hand, and give it a gentle squeeze and a smile.
4. Open a door (car or building) for your wife (It really says something when you walk around the car with her just to open the door).
5. Wives: Tell your husband that you want him and can’t wait to make love tonight (you could say this everyday and it would not get old! Ha!)
6. Husbands: Simply say, “Honey, you look beautiful today. You are beautiful inside and out.”
7. As you walk by your spouse in the house reach out and touch their shoulder, lower back, or cheek.
8. Recognize something your spouse did that day and say thank you. It could even be something normal and small, but YOU noticed.
9. Make the FIRST thing your spouse comes home to be a hug! (Not a “to do”)
10. SHARE: Offer to share your food, share your blanket, share the load of something your spouse is carrying, share your music or song choice… Sharing is caring!
Everyday Investments that take less than 1 Minute!
1. Make the bed for your spouse in the morning (depending on the # of pillows you have, this may take a bit more than 1 minute)
2. Write a short post-it note and leave it in a fun place telling your spouse something you appreciate about them.
3. Do a quick 1 minute “sweep” of the kitchen or family room before you go to bed or leave for work so they wake up/come home to a clean space.
4. Give a short hand massage (super simple just youtube it) while you sit on the couch.
5. Hug your spouse for 1 minute and tell them you love them. Yep, 1 full minute. Two advantages to this: 1. It may lead to something more. 2. Studies show a hug for longer than 20 seconds REDUCES STRESS!
6. When you are ALREADY AT THE STORE grab your spouse’s favorite treat, wine, or snack and bring it home with the groceries.
7. Fresh flowers. You can grab fresh flowers for $10 or under when you are ALREADY AT THE STORE. It’s a great thing to come home to!
8. Send fun texts or pictures throughout the day sharing where you are/what you’re doing. It gives your spouse a little window into your day and it lets them know you are thinking of them.
9. Find 1 minute to joke and laugh… it could happen naturally or you can be intentional by purchasing a joke book or watching comedy clips…. When we laugh together walls come down and we are more connected!
10. Ask the question: “Is there anything I can do to make the day easier for you?” Let them answer, then later follow through!
This isn’t an exhaustive list. It’s meant to get your mind thinking about your 30 second and 1 minute everyday investments. Start making them today! If you have not practiced making everyday investments, or maybe you’re out of practice it may seem awkward at first…. But PUSH THROUGH! Your marriage will thank you years from now when you are reaping the benefits with an incredible return! Invest now!
In Him, Chris & Jamie