*To preface the title – the most intimate thing I’ve ever done, but you might think it’s super weird, or you might just agree;)
On our honeymoon, I had this crazy idea…
It has been one of my best-kept marriage secrets (something I have only shared with my closest friends) – until now.
It’s too good to keep to myself;)
So let me tell you about this immensely intimate idea, and why I think every single couple on the planet should try it at least once, if not every year on their anniversary.
Some of you may think it’s a little weird, but I’m choosing vulnerability in the hopes that it might inspire you! This is something Jer and I have both committed to do on Beating50Percent – be honest and transparent.
So before you roll your eyes and call me crazy, just here me out here….
First, some backstory…
Jer and I both wrote our own wedding vows. I wanted to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually present when I wrote them, so I waited until the night before our wedding. For once, I was intentionally last minute;)
As we stood before our family, friends, and the Lord and exchanged vows for the first time, we shook our heads in wholehearted agreeance, as we received each others’ promises. It was the moment that I looked forward to the most on our wedding day – becoming one before God and the people we love. As beautifully surreal as this moment was, I was so caught up in emotion and totality of the moment, that it was difficult to focus on the words we were vowing to one another. I remember thinking secretly, “I can’t wait to speak our vows to one another again, just the two of us, on our honeymoon!”
We both brought our crumpled paper vows with us on our honeymoon, and had planned to re-read them to each other again at some point.
Then I had this crazy idea….
“What if we read our vows to each other while having sex…?”
This thought was immediately followed by an insecurity, “Jeremy will probably think that’s SOOO weird… and I mean… how will that even work…?”
One afternoon, we laid in bed waiting out a Jamaican thunderstorm and reminiscing on our wedding day, when I mustered up the confidence to blurt out my unconventional idea, “Babe, you know how we wanted to reread our vows to each other just the two of us? Well… what if we did that… while having sex….”
I remember the look of astonishment that fell over Jeremy’s face, and I wasn’t sure if it was the good kind or bad kind… But then he said something to the effect of, “Whoa (probably ‘Holy Smokes’)… Let’s do it.”
I’ll spare you the details, but it was the most intimate thing we have ever done in our marriage, and probably the most intimate thing I have ever done in my life.
The act of becoming physically and verbally one (at the same time), ensues an ocean of intimacy that I cannot attempt to describe. It’s the best version of “sex talk.”
Y’all… don’t think about how it works, just try it.
Hands down my favorite (and one of the most challenging) thing about marriage is – oneness.
When you spend the first 23 years of your life making your own decisions and doing your own thing, oneness can be a tough adjustment… But becoming one with your beloved is one of the greatest joys.
The world we live in encourages us to do our own thing and be our own person. Become one does not mean we give up our individuality, but it does mean we forfeit a spirit of independence. Something I am learning – slowly.
When I say “oneness” I am referring to Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, and Ephesians 5:31-32 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.” The Hebrew word for oneness is unity. When I say that Jeremy and I are “one,” I do not mean that we like all the same things, do all the same things, eat all the same things etc. I mean that even in our unique differences, we are unified.
We believe that “becoming one” requires us to eliminate “my, me, I” and replace these words with, “us, ours, we.” We believe that oneness is sharing. Sharing in decisions, missions, beds, bodies, finances, and life.
One of the things you will hear us talking about a lot over here on Beating50Percent is this idea of oneness, and how we can achieve a greater level of oneness – leading to marriages that thrive!
This is just an unconventional crazy idea that Jer and I decided to share with you all. It’s something that we have decided to do every year on our anniversary as a way of putting gas on the fire of our oneness.
Exchanging vows beyond your wedding day is powerful thing. Even if you don’t read your vows to each other during sex, we want to encourage you all to keep on #stayingido not just “saying ‘I do.’”
Keep seeking oneness friends!
Did you write your own vows?!
We would love to feature them on Beating50Percent in our VOWS section!
Click >>HERE<< to read some incredibly beautiful vows!
One of the things Jer and I are super passionate about over here on Beatign50Percent is VOWS. When we were in the beginning stages of figuring out what Beating50Percent would be and have to offer, we had this idea of sharing other people’s vows. We wanted to differentiate ourselves from all the other wedding blogs out there, but we wanted to create something just as compelling. Our desire was for people to spend hours scrolling through marriage-centered content and not just photos of flowers, dresses, and barns (although we love those things too).
We decided to create the VOWS section of our blog as a way to inspire people to get excited about their marriage, more than their wedding. On the VOWS section, we share beautiful promises and commitments made by couples around the world.
If you wrote your own wedding vows, we would love it if you would submit them below!!! Help us inspire couples around the world to be more focused on the unwavering declaration than a 24-hour day.