Beautiful 5 year vow renewal
I choose you
I want to be with you, I know I don’t have to be But you are once in a lifetime.
You are the only one I want to see myself with. You are wise. You are kind and strong. You are a hard worker. You are a protector and rescuer. You are intentional. You are patient and gracious.
You are everything I need and so much more than I knew I needed. You have changed me. I am so much better now than the day we got married five years ago. I am stronger. They say woman came from man’s rib, but you gave me a whole backbone. I am who God has intended me to be because of you. Before you, before marriage, I didn’t know who I was. I was insecure, weak, and just wanted to make everyone happy. I can now say, with confidence, that I am a strong, confident, and decisive woman. Your influence taught me how to be. Marriage is refining, it is fire, it is hard, but it has been so good, even in the difficult times. I love the challenge it is, I love how it makes me think about what I am saying and doing, for more than just myself. I love how just thinking of you makes me better. Makes me more pure, more faithful, more direct, more confident, more gracious, more… Everything.
You are everything good about me.
You know me AND you love me. When we made vows to each other and got married and were so excited for our future together, June 18 2011, you didn’t really know me. Now you know me. Now you know who I am and you are still choosing me. You are choosing to stay with me. Crazy and all. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that. You make me feel like I am enough. I am exactly what you want. And although I don’t understand how that could be true, I know it is. I know with full confidence that you love me in the deepest way possible. And I know I love you like that too. This love is so interesting, such a mystery, in that i can’t figure it out. I can’t put a thought to or a finger on how I feel about you. I know you hate when this is said, but I truly can’t put into words how I feel. It is beyond me. Bigger than me. More than my brain can comprehend or my heart can express. And I never experienced anything like it, until marriage.
I could talk forever about the things in you I am grateful for, there are so many. But I specifically want to thank you for being our provider, and being okay with that looking differently over the years. I am sorry if I have ever made that difficult or made it seem like I don’t appreciate it. You have given me so much, more than I ever dreamed for my life. You are building our families future, you are creating stability for our children, our children’s children, and all the generations to come. All the generations that will be shaped by us and our decisions.
You are valuing that now and I am so grateful. You are future-minded and I am so grateful.
So I vow to try
I vow to try to be less bratty,
to be more patient
To be more kind
To speak less, to be less harsh
I vow to listen more, and not roll my eyes so much
I will try harder to exemplify Christ and His love for us.
I will try harder to choose your good and bad, to be patient as time and experiences change us, to let you be you and celebrate who you are more.
To love you for you
I couldn’t make these vows to you when we got married because I didn’t know what we would need. I didn’t know what I would need to do better. What you would be most blessed by. How I could best serve you. But now I know, and I want to honor that. I want to honor you intentionally, love you intentionally, I want to be the best wife possible. I want to exceed all of your expectations.
You deserve more than I can give, more than I am, but I vow to be the best I am capable of. I vow to try to be what you deserve, for the rest of our lives.
I tried to look up the history of marriage vows, and this is the best I could come up with. The oldest tradition I was able to research was that of the Romans, which went something like this. The father of the bride would bring his daughter to meet the groom and his parents. The father of the bride would then produce a list of all the physical assets the girl was worth, and the Groom would do the same for himself. They would sign each other’s lists as if to say that our marriage is now bound by the value you bring to the relationship. I wish I could say modern vows are any different, but they’re not. Here’s what I bring to the table: I work two days a week, spend too much money on wine, and am far too passive aggressive when it comes to persuading you away from buying new clothes. I don’t know how to fold a t-shirt properly, and my version of cleaning is more like re-arranging. I worry about everything, stress about nothing, and play the worst case scenario game far too often. I like to throw last minute ideas out there once plans have been decided on, knowing full well it might completely muck up the next 20 minutes of our evening. I fart a lot, have 0 issues with picking my nose almost anywhere, and am in the bathroom enough for it to be considered a part time job. Lucky you.
Transitioning, in the words of our wedding song, love is not blind. I’ve had 5 years to look into your heart, and here’s what I’ve found. The light of day couldn’t be brighter in you. Your joy, enthusiasm, love and faith are prominent. Your hope and peace come and go sometimes, but always end up strong. Your love for everyone and everything is inspiring, and your work ethic, drive and commitment are commendable. You shine so brightly that you’re near impossible to forget, and you bring joy to people just by entering into their vicinity. I love hearing the stories of your patients growing attached to you, or how you comforted them in what might be the darkest part of their life. You bring so much light to our marriage.
You think you know someone when you marry them, but I can confidently say that I hardly knew you then. Fortunately, the red-headed Ashley I know now wins. The reasons I liked you then have been made deeper, and the qualities I saw in you have become stronger and more clear. 5 years has been so long, but has gone by so quickly. You’ve truly become my other half, as life without you is unimaginable. It really just doesn’t make any sense.
When people bring up that it’s been 5 years and how that’s a long time, I don’t really know what to say. I stopped counting the time a long time ago. To think of our relationship in terms of how long it has lasted is to even consider what it would be like to not have it, and that just doesn’t compute. You don’t have a spiritual life and a secular life, you simply have life. I don’t have a 5 year marriage with you, I have my life with you. Anything less just doesn’t work.
So, I promise to never separate my life or my time from yours. I promise to love you unconditionally, and to the fullest extent that word will stretch. I promise to aim to make my love for you a perfect picture of Christ’s love for us, whatever that might look like. I promise to keep my eyes open when looking at and into you, not being afraid of what I might find. I’ve seen a lot of you in 5 years, dark and light, but there’s plenty more to see, and I plan on seeing it all, because love is not blind.
6 • 18 • 11
He “wasn’t her type” and he thought she was “out of his league” – isn’t it funny how relationships can sneak up on you? We may have accidentally fallen in love, but we chose to not let those falsehoods dictate our lives. Nearly 6 years married and we are still grateful every day that we chose this – life is exciting and sweet with your opposite by your side.
Ashley has her own business watercolor calligraphy business over at A Life Of Color. Jeremy and I had our vows custom painted by her to hang in our home:)